Let’s Talk About Downsizing
I am an empty nester. Raising kids and doing loads and loads of laundry, driving back and forth to band practice, and helping with homework felt like it would go on forever. But it didn’t. Eventually our kids went to college, moved out, started a life of their own, and now have their own families. Currently, it’s just my husband, cat, and me. We have made a full cycle of life. The only difference was that our cat in those early years was a sweet and gentle Golden Retriever, Carly.
Our needs shifted after our last child’s “I do” and it was time to think about downsizing. Having lived in a family home with children and their friends in and out the front door, it was now time to think about our next step. Our needs had changed, and our home needed to reflect this next phase in our lives, as well. While most people wait for this change to occur before deciding what to keep and what to discard, I had been donating and discarding items all along. I knew this day would come, and I planned for it. That, however, is not a common way to approach downsizing. For this reason, I’d like to take you through the steps to take when moving from a family home to one that meets your new and current needs.
Steps to Downsizing:
Step 1: Donate, Discard and Take - Evaluate Your Belongings Before You Move
Downsize in your current home. In other words, don’t wait until you get to your new home to decide what you want to keep. I discussed this in an earlier blog about paying to move all your things, just to discard or donate them in your new home. Do it in advance. When you do this before moving, you let go of what no longer serves you. You will make space in your new home for what lies ahead and will be able to invite change into your life.
Step 2: Visualize Your New Home - Set Your Intention
In yoga, we call this Sankalpa. It is the Sanskrit word for intention. San means “to become one with” and kalpa means “time” and “subconscious mind.” Sankalpa is to set an intention, to connect with your heart's deepest desire. This is like Marie Kondo’s concept of envisioning your ideal life. Think about your new space and the way you want it to look and feel. This new space is a chance to start again, to consider the differences between your current space and the new space you will occupy. As you begin your downsizing journey, think about this new vision, what is important to you and why it is important. Keep this thought front and center as you move through the decluttering process.
Step 3: Don’t Put Anything In Storage
As Marie Kondo says, “make the pile.” This is a good time to examine what you have and to be intentional in your discarding and donating. Also, it is a good time to be intentional in what you decide to keep. Keeping things that you love, that bring you happiness and joy, are equally important to what you let go. If you’re tempted to store items that will no longer fit into your new home, remember why you’ve chosen to downsize. Embrace the notion that some of your old belongings will not fit and support your new life. Be open to change.
Step 4: Work Through the KonMari Method® - Downsize by Category
Rather than going room to room, follow the KonMari Method® of “tidying” by category. This method has a very specific order: clothing, books, paper, komono (miscellaneous) and sentimental items. Look at home decluttering through this lens instead of taking one room at a time. Working through the process this way will also make packing easier. When tidying a subcategory, such as bathroom supplies, bring every item from each bathroom together to review. Gathering, discarding, and packing by category will help you spot duplicates and excesses, which is a must if you’re downsizing from multiple bathrooms to one, or a large office to a small desk.
Step 5: Hold Space for a New Life
While it may feel that space is tightening up, consider it a different way. By leaving some areas open, you are inviting change into your life. Consider the way you feel in your new home, which items will continue to serve you, and which can be let go. By consciously deciding not to fill every nook and cranny, you’ll be able to give yourself the space to think and listen to your new home. Notice the way you feel in your new surroundings, and what your home is telling you that you need.
I also love the idea of hybrid rooms. Hybrid rooms are different spaces in a home that serve multiple purposes. They are a great way to think about downsizing - just make sure you give each item a home within the room. For example, place a desk in a guest bedroom that you can use as an office when you are not hosting guests.
Step 6: Give Thanks
Gratitude is one of the cornerstones of letting go. Thank your current home for supporting the life that allowed you to raise a family. Know that your new home made this move possible and welcome it with joy. New chapters in life can sometimes be stressful and an adjustment. By realizing that this new home is an opportunity to try out some new aspects of life, it will allow you to see the good that has come from this change. Enjoy the way your new home feels. This is a new chapter of life with new beginnings and opportunities. Embrace them.